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Hit the Bar Vs Ashton Athletic
Seven players this week, for yet another match against Ashton Athletic, with whom Hit the Bar had had a thrilling 9-9 draw with in the last game of the previous season. The match started off well going for nearly ten minutes before there was a breakthrough, with Nez scoring to put Hit the bar into the lead. It was a fairly tight encounter, though by half time they were trailing 2-1. Minutes into the second half came the incident that turned the match. Dancing was harshly adjudged to have been in his own area after a shove by one of the dirty bastards they were playing against and a penalty was awarded. Squirrel tried to make himself as big as he could (now that's big), and the penalty hit the post, however it flew back against Squirrel's leg and into the net. Hit the bar's heads dropped and what followed was a capitulation the likes of which hasn't been seen since the days of the Italian army in the second world war. Pretty soon they found themselves 13-1 down and three late goals failed to lift spirits much as they finished 14-4 losers.
Match ratings.
Squirrel - A very accomplished first half but hopelessly exposed in the second, unlucky not to save the dubiously awarded penalty - 6
G Man - Impressive stamina allowed constant jockeying and tackling. However, composure in the final third could be improved upon - 7 - SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN
The Chemist - Not at full health and this showed. Too often caught in position but still unleashed the occasional belter, did well to shake off a late reckless challenge - 5
Turkish - Organised the team well in the first half but could do nothing to stop the second half slide. Struggled to keep his temper under check when the opponents got dirty - 6
Dancing - Nowhere near his best - miscontrolled the ball too often and gave away cheap possession, one or two good touches but spent most of the second half trying to suppress the urge to vomit - 4
Nez - Occasional flashes of brilliance, proved he has more lollypops than a paedophile in an adventure playground, but drifted out of the game too often and was guilty, by his own admission, of whingeing at team-mates - 6
Boots - Good tracking back and played the simple ball well but couldn't match last week's performance. Touch sometimes let him down, astro boots may help the cause - 6