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Chapter 4
He was born on 12th August 1969 in South Philadelphia’s Methodist Hospital, the son of a Methodist preacher, and a social worker. He was an only child, and as he later came to find out, he wasn’t planned, and certainly wasn’t expected, with both his parents being well into their 40’s. The contrast between his parents was strange to behold. His father was a very pious man, who believed in a strict puritanical upbringing, and insisted upon a Methodist school education, which somehow never came to being, and still believed that children were to be seen and not heard. On the other hand his mother was a very warm and open woman, who brought the empathy and consideration required by her job into the home life, and allowed him to talk about anything to her. He often wondered what had brought them together as they were totally different people, with different tastes and hobbies, and it seemed little in common, yet despite this they seemed content with each other, as if they balanced each other off.
His father was a preacher at the Tindley Temple United Methodist Church, on South Broad Street, and for the whole of his life he had lived in the same area, even when moving out to live by himself when he went to university he lived either on or just off South Broad Street, and even now he rarely went out anywhere else in the city.
From an early age he attended the church’s Sunday school, which thankfully wasn’t taught by his father, but was instead taught by a sweet little old woman called Mrs Price. As a small child he had a lot of time with sweet old ladies. Both of his grandfathers had died before he was born, but his grandmothers made up for this by doting on him, much to the obvious disgust of his father, who quite often would accuse them of mollycoddling him. They wouldn’t pay any attention to that, and with great regularity would remind his father that he was their only grandchild and therefore they would spoil him whenever they wanted to.
He started pre-school at The Philadelphia School, a non sectarian independent school, which although not being a Methodist school, his father had no qualms about sending him to. This was mainly down to the fact that it’s reputation, both academically and from a disciplinary point of view was outstanding, and his father couldn’t have the same disdain for a non sectarian school that he showed to any of the non Methodist Christian faiths. Most of this was directed at what his father called “The Catholic Devils”. It was in fact this point that was the main (and probably only) cause of tension in the household, as his only aunt (his mother’s sister) had done the unthinkable many years ago, and had converted to Catholicism and become a nun.
His early schooling set the pattern that seemed to follow for much of his life, in so much that he made acquaintances very easily, and very rarely had cross words with anyone, but by the same token never really had what he would call friends, the ones that you would tell everything, and spend all your time with. In truth it had never bothered him, and he hadn’t even considered that this was unusual until he was at university.
While in 2nd grade his father’s side grandmother had died, and he was quite sure that this was the only time he had ever seen his father be really upset. It didn’t really affect him as a child, he didn’t understand why he should be upset, all he knew later was that he missed the kindly old woman. Meanwhile his schooling was going well. He was above average in all subjects, but it was maths that he excelled at, it all came so naturally to him, he found that numbers were interesting, and would quite happily sit there playing with numbers for hours. At the same time he also loved to read, and was always well ahead of his reading age, he could read novels from an early age, going to his mother with any difficult words, but he preferred to read factual books, and therefore gain knowledge. This marked him out as a strange child amongst his peers, but it didn’t lead to the normal animosity that could be expected by children of that age.
He had learnt to ice skate from the age of 6, and by the time he was 9 it came naturally to him. For some reason it was an activity that both his parents agreed on, his mother on the basis that it was a healthy activity that wasn’t competitive. His father had a slightly different outlook, yes it was a reasonable activity, but by being able to skate well it would give him a good chance to try out for junior hockey, as hockey was the only non-religious activity his father seemed to have an interest in.
Therefore by the time seventh grade came around he found himself trying out for the school hockey team. Despite being slight in build, and a bit short for his age, his natural skating ability got him on to the team, and he soon learnt how to make the stick an extension of his arm, and played not only at his own grade, but at the grade above as well.
Even at that age he felt lucky, academic work came easily, hockey came easily, and although considered strange by a lot of the other kids at school, he wasn’t picked on, and was on speaking terms with the majority of them.
Whilst in the eight grade his remaining grandmother died, and he could actually remember feeling sad because of it. He remembered going to the funeral, being dressed all in black, along with everyone else, and above all – not crying, something else that would be the case for the rest of his life.
When he reached the ninth grade he had to change schools due to the fact that The Philadelphia School only covered up to the end of eighth grade. He ended up going to the Masterman School, and academically the change in school made very little difference, but from a hockey perspective there was a world of difference, with his slight build being more of a disadvantage, especially with the fact that there was only one team for the school, and he was competing for a place with boys up to 3 years older than himself.
There was also a greater mix of people at the Masterman School, and he still found it impossible to find a true friend, but he also found it more difficult to even make acquaintances, and withdrew into himself somewhat. This wasn’t helped when early in the tenth grade his father died. The funeral was a very serious affair, and he was one of the pallbearers, along with some members of his father’s congregation.
The next couple of months were not good for him, he got somewhat of an attitude problem, and gave his mother a really hard time, which was the last thing she needed. They also had to move house, as they could no longer live in the church’s designated house, as the new preacher and his family would need to move in. They did however receive a generous death benefit from the church, and used it to move into an apartment only a couple of blocks further along South Broad Street.
In his final year at Masterman (he had decided that he was going to go elsewhere for high school), his aunt died. If he thought that hi father’s funeral had been a serious affair, it was nothing compared to the rigmarole of a Roman Catholic funeral. The Latin mass, the incense, and with hundreds of nuns in attendance, it seemed like the whole thing went on for days. He was really glad to get back home afterwards. His mother was really withdrawn for months after the funeral, and it took him a while to realise that it was because she now only had him as family, and she felt somewhat alone in the world. It hadn’t occurred to him that as it stood they only really had each other.