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Hit the Bar Vs Expotel
Build up:
The fixture list this season for Hit The Bar revealed that Cock Boy's 'relationship' with BG was paying off as they were handed a good number of prime-time 8pm fixtures. The first of these for a good few months was against Expotel, who'd had the beating of HTB last time round. Just five showed up for HTB, with Owen's old commitment issues resurfacing, and earning him this week's Missing in Action Mincer. However the players, notably Nez and Cock Boy, seemed to be pretty positive about this one and all the team seemed confident during a kick-around en route to pitch 1.
First half:
After some discussion before kick-off, HTB vowed not to let in their usual early goals and do actually do a bit of communicating. What happened just after kick-off astounded the season-tickets holders at the Stockport end - Hit The Bar started, not in reverse gear as usual, but with engine gunning followed by some quick gear-shifts to take them from 0-2 goals in less than 180 seconds. Expotel were in complete disarray and could only marvel, along with a disbelieving Squirrel in goal, at HTB's superb passing, moving and finishing. At 4-0, HTB eased off the gas pedal slightly and, while they were rooting around in the glove box for a tape, Expotel got onto the score sheet. However, as the game approached the half-time service station, Expotel became as stretched as this analogy, and time and again conceded, going in 10-4 down.
Second half:
The words "keep doing what we have been doing" are rarely uttered by HTB at half time, but this game was an exception. With HTB well in control, all they had to do was keep going as they were. The second half got underway just as soon as the ref could be bothered to face the pitch. That was about all he could manage though and, while he was thinking about his Specsavers appointment, he missed several crucial incidents, which resulted in a dodgy goal for Expotel and a blatant penalty appeal from HTB that wasn't given. But as the game went on, these incidents ceased to be crucial and HTB strolled away with a 20-10 victory, which probably flattered Expotel.
Player ratings:
Squirrel - not a lot of pressure on the big man for this game. There were a couple of occasions where a good save meant that Expotel were denied even the sniff of a comeback, and for this he deserves credit. Some good distribution set up some nifty counters by HTB but he will still be disappointed to have let in 10, although when you score 20, what does it matter? - 8
Nez - Lack of interest from other clubs has meant that Nez's name still appears on the team sheet, and a good job too. Before the match he was instrumental in lifting the team's spirits, and he played a big part in HTB's early domination. The lollipops were back and so was the excellent passing and finishing. Scored a whinge-factor of only 3, down considerably from previous weeks but there's still room for improvement - 8
G-Man - There must have been something in the air this week, because here was another player that was back to their best. Snapping away at the ankles, his tackling and general harassing was excellent, and some of his movement first class. Looked a little tired at times but more often than not bounced back with a goal - 8
Dancing - Again, the best we've seen from him for weeks now. Played an important role in the first half with some neat touches, one-twos, good through balls and defending too. Looked a liability at the end of the first half but soon got through the pain barrier and finished the game with a flurry of goals - 8
Cock Boy - What can be said about this performance? From the off he was determined and was playing well. The crowd went cock-a-hoop as he found the net again and again. Indeed, every time he cocked his leg back, he looked like scoring. Flightier than a shuttlecock, he imposed himself on the game the way a cockerel imposes itself on a new day. With an excellent 8 (eight) goals to his name, he couldn't cock this one up. SURERANODMALITY STARMAN - 9