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Hit the Bar Vs KF Soldiers
Tonight's opposition were KF Soldiers, a team that HTB had despatched with ease at the end of last season. A slight concern was the number of injuries in HTB's squad, with only 5 being passed fit to play, and the media blaming it on the lack of an inter-season break. The most recent casualty was G-Man, who picked up the G-FOR-GAY-MAN GAMMY-TOE award. But on the plus side, HTB logged a new record crowd attendance, with the official figure standing at 00,001. HTB started the game with ruthless efficiency, with the aim being to snuff out all of KF Soldiers' hopes of a win before they got too knackered. It wasn't long before HTB were running the show, with a flurry of goals resulting, and a clean sheet at half time looking likely. Unfortunately, Dancing then suffered an acute attack of the 'Boots' and gifted KFS a goal, making the half-time score a still-impressive 12-1. More of the same followed in the second half, but perhaps the crowd had already seen the best of HTB (ask her if you want), because more mistakes were being made and the players were getting greedy for goals. A comfortable stroll to the finish saw a final score of 18-2, or if you're a retarded ref, 18-3, with every outfield player getting at least a hat-trick. With both Shera and Riders of Rohan losing, HTB stormed back to the top of the league, comfortably ahead of Devote Design Wednesday on goal difference. New boys Woodsmoor Wanderers could be one to watch for, as they beat Shera by a punishing 25-4.
Player Ratings
Squirrel - After a hectic week last week, a more leisurely time between the sticks was in order. The few times he was called upon, he served his team well, and couldn't be held responsible for the goals conceded. Did make some uncharacteristic distribution errors but all in all a good game and will be proud of breaking the fewest-goals-conceded-in-a-game record - 7
Dancing - In the absence of G-Man, he found himself worryingly responsible for the defence. However, he soon got into the swing of things and put in a few good last-ditch blocks, but was eventually responsible for KFS breaking their duck. Some late efforts up front took his tally for the night to three, but fitness appeared to be lacking and by the end he was f*cked - 7
Ricky Organ - Did well not to let the tabloid rumours about a possible transfer down south affect his performance. His reading of the game continues to be a strong suit and was involved in many of HTBs intricate passing moves. Bagged himself a double-brace and was full of running tonight. HTB will be keen to hang on to him - 7
Wes - Started off at an impressive pace and soon opened up his scoring account. Made three further deposits during the match and added a strong physical presence to HTB's team. Became increasingly miserly with the sharing of possession as the game went on though, and often tried to beat about 3 players too many. However, he was the main reason for the record crowd - 7
Nez - The scouse scamp was looking to make amends for last week's showing and also break the 100 goals barrier. His quality soon shone through this week and before long the 100 was up. Finished the game 105 not out and can be proud of the way he tucked his goals away. Didn't track back as often as he should, but what's new? Still this week's SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN - 8