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Hit the Bar Vs Vasko De Gatley
Rumours of a crisis in the Hit the Bar camp may have been grossly exaggerated but there was no doubt that their form had wavered. Talks of changes in personnel and player unrest within the team meant it was important for them to get back to winning ways. Nez and Wes returned for the crunch clash against Vasko de Twatley (amateurs attempt at wit) but Dancing's frog legs were nowhere to be seen as he fucked off to France to chomp on croissants. For this he receives the NONCE IN NICE AWARD. The game began at a lively pace and amongst the opening exchanges there were already signs of the tenacity that had characterised the previous encounters between the two teams. Hit the Bar looked good going forward but ultimately forgot about defending and let in 5 extremely sloppy goals. However, despite trailing 5-3 at the interval there were enough signs that HTB could tighten up at the back and capitalise on VDG's similar naivety in defence. The second half however became embroiled in violence. Vasko's persistent fouling meant the football failed to flow and for a frustrated Hit the Bar it was only a matter of time before they hit back. Wes scored a couple of screamers and G-man danced his way round Vasko's defence throughout, but football was only a side-show to the pushing, shoving, butting, fouling and swearing that began to saturate the game. Hit the Bar, therefore did well to battle their way back in to the match and salvage a 9-9 draw against the unruly school children.
Squirrel - Had plenty to do as his outfield players decided to see how well he'd do defending the goal on his own. Made some excellent saves as the shots reigned in on his goal but was nutmegged a few too many times for this to be considered one of his best games - 6
Ricky Organ - His future at Hit the Bar remains in doubt as a move to the Big Smoke beckons, but despite the speculation he performed out of his skin and grabbed a goal. The opposition took a liking to the 'cockney' battler, persistently attempting to rape and pillage him, but he came out unscathed and more determined than ever. Looked lively throughout and battled hard when others may have backed down. For this he receives the SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN - 8
G-Man - Took a while for him to get going but when he did it became near impossible for Vasko to stop him legally, so they resorted to clipping his heels at every chance they could get. Even an attempt to snap his legs didn't phase him and looked HTB's most dynamic player in the second half - 7
Turkish - This game possibly came a little too soon for Turkish as he battles to get back to full fitness. By his own admission he struggled to get to grips with the physical nature of the match and spent much of the game on the sidelines. When he was on the pitch however, he worked hard and looked to get involved as much as he could. A couple more games and he'll be back to his best - 6
Nez - Scored three but missed several sitters. Definitely not back to his full fitness and the lack of first team matches has robbed him of his sharpness. Still moans far too much and should learn to get behind his team - 6
Wes - Managed to look like scoring most times he had the ball and used his strength and composure to bag 5. Often prone to holding on to the ball for too long and seemed a little frustrated by the end, but is becoming more and more ruthless in front of goal and scored a couple of scorchers in the second half - 7