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Hit the Bar Vs Shera
The penultimate game of the season saw Hit The Bar in familiar territory - a mid-table position with a mathematical chance of promotion. The fact that they had to rely on the results of others, and beat the top two teams, meant that in this instance the word mathematical could be replaced by 'bugger all'. Having been previously trounced 13-0 by this week's opposition, Shera, HTB were looking to put up a bit more resistance tonight. A player shortage wasn't helping matters, with Organ back down south and Wes still injured. Turkish was in the middle of a Club vs. Career row, with the latter winning, which meant he collected the unwanted CAREER QUEER award. This left Squirrel, G-Man, Dancing and Nez available and the possibility of ringers being required. G-Man however had other ideas, and was putting his recruiting skills into practice. He soon found two willing victims to play (his work-mate's boyfriend, and his work-mate's boyfriend's mate - his work mate was a girl, and there was therefore no gayness involved). As kick-off approached, the two parties managed to identify each other and names were quickly exchanged - James and Coxy were to make their debuts. The game started well enough, with both the new boys neither excelling, nor looking out of their depth in this division 5 fixture. It wasn't long though before holes began to appear in HTB's defence, and Shera had soon scored 5 without reply. A well-worked goal, and a mysterious phantom goal meant that HTB went into the break 7-2 down, but with Nez struggling with a groin strain, which some reports have suggested was due to too much masturbation before the game. The second half saw Nez lasting only a matter of seconds before he was spent (not for the first time?), and HTB found themselves down to just 5 for the rest of the game. Strangely, this co-incided with a spirited fight back by HTB, and before long they had clawed it back to just 7-6 down. They had clearly over-exerted themselves though and were eventually broken down, before giving in completely, losing 16-7.
Player ratings:
Squirrel - After a strangely exaggerated rating last week, his score returns to a more appropriate level this week. Made some great saves during the comeback period to keep the teams hopes alive, but was as powerless as the rest of the team to stop the shots in the final third of the game - 7
Dancing - After some twisted reporter gave him the gay award last week, he was on a mission this week. Got the team going in the right direction by getting both the first half goals and was looking sharp. Rapidly ran out of steam in the final ten though and denied himself starman - 7
Coxy - A useful looking player but is probably more at home on a full size pitch. Great at shielding the ball and was always looking for possession but didn't always use it that well. Got one of the goals and generally played well but also lost it in the final stages - 7
James - An unpredictable player who had mixed fortunes tonight. Was a valuable outlet throughout the game but was often caught in possession. Made some good passes, gave the team width, and managed to get a goal for himself - 7
G-Man - Made a slow start and often looked tired in the first half. The start of the second was a different story though and everything seemed to flow through him. Was instrumental in the team's comeback and got two of the goals. Battled hard but eventually gave in towards the end. Enough to edge it as SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN - 7
Nez - Weakened before kick off by a wasp sting, he clearly wasn't in tip-top shape before kick off. Started reasonably but there were no tricks or goals. Pulled his groin late in the first half and had to settle for the frustration of watching his team-mates struggle without him - 5