Blonde of the week was won by Morning.

This weekend also sees the first anniversary of the move to Chez Didsbury.

It's coming, the first birthday of Surerandomality is nearly upon us, and the date is set for Friday 31^st October, keep your eyes peeled for further updates.

You were expressing with your full capabilities this week, and judging by some of the things you have written, you should really be living in correctional facilities.

First up this week is a Maureen Glenister, from Canterbury, Kent, who asks, "What is the height of a womble, I have asked my colleagues at work, and estimates have ranged from the very short one foot tall, upto the ridiculously tall seven foot. Would any of your readers know the answer to this, as it has been puzzling me for over twenty years now." Have you gone mad woman, why would anybody care how tall a f#cking Womble is? If you ask me, (and I know you probably wouldn’t, but I don’t give a sh1t) your work colleagues are just humouring you by giving you an answer to your stupid question.

Next up is a pedant, Mr Banjo from Swanton Morley in Norfolk, who in response to the letter last week writes "Surely you could have put the spellchecker on the letter from Ms Malpas last week, it would have made reading it a lot easier." Yes, you tit, you told me, as did a few others, but you’re all missing the point. It was written like that deliberately to prove a point.

Letters of the overseas variety are next (after someone complained about me saying Foreigners next), and up first is a Stig Kjetal, from Stavenger, Norway, who writes, "Gjorde De forstår et ord av hva han akkurat sagt? Sett seg og lukk opp, De stor, skallet fac. Jeg liker ikke forlater mitt land Doug, og jeg spesielt liker ikke forlater det for noe som helst mindre da sandete strander, og c0cktailer med liten stråhatter! De viser meg hvordan styre en vill f#cking sigøyner og jeg vise De hvordan styre en unhinged, plugg-tilførselgangster! Jeg trodde at De sagt han var en getaway fører. Hva fac kan han blir borte fra? Om jeg kaster en hund et bein, jeg vet ikke om det smaker god eller ikke. Og om De noensinne avbryter meg whilst går som jeg, jeg skjære Deres f#cking jacobs av. De er ikke mye bruken til meg levende er De." Did you understand a single word of what’s just been said? No don’t answer that you morons, it was a rhetorical question.

And another one, this time from Klaus Wunderlich, from Bremen, Germany, with this delightful insight, "Boris Das Blatt, das sonst gebekannt wird, als Boris "der Sneaky Ficken Russe" so gebogen wie es eigen sickle ist, und so hart wie der Hammer, der es kreuzt. Offensichtlich ist es unmöglich, den B'stard zu töten. Sind Sie auf die Straße, und Sie und eines Autos fast auf Ihnen je geschritten drehen? etwas sehr fremd geschieht. Ihr Leben leuchtet nicht auf, bevor Ihre Augen, co Sie auch hat erschrocken ficken, - Sie zu denken, nur frieren. ......and zieht ein dummes Gesicht! Es ist ein unberechtigter Boxkampf. Es ist keine kitzelnde Konkurrenz. Diese Jungen sind, aus einander zu verletzen. Sind Sie nicht genau Herr, den Jetzige Angelegenheiten Sie sind? Der "Wahnsinnige Fisch" ist verrückt geworden, und "Das Gewehr" schießt sich selbst." Look, if I knew what any of these said then they probably wouldn’t get published, especially if they are as sh1te as some of the stuff you lot send in.

Lots of suggestions for what to do for the first anniversary, but none that I can be ar5ed to print, as I can’t see me taking any of them up.

Mr Perrin seems to have sprung to life after a couple of weeks of beautifully clean incoming post, but it would seem that he has given up on directing people to our offices, as he couldn’t make a living, and has returned home to Hunstanton, though it would appear that he hasn’t given up all hope of getting a job here, more’s the pity.

That's it for the letters for this week, BUT there will be more next week. BUT, only if you’re lucky.

A couple of items that caught my eye this week

After a bank in Manchester, N.H., was robbed of $24,000, witnesses gave a good description of the getaway car: a marked cruiser from the Manchester Police Department, which sped away from the robbery with its lights flashing and siren blaring. Suspicion quickly focused on Gary Sahlin, 26, an ex-officer who reportedly was having financial problems. Sahlin pleaded not guilty to the charge, but after his girlfriend told detectives he had told her the duffel bag full of cash he showed her that day was insurance proceeds", Sahlin told them the robbery was his girlfriend's idea. - That's what loving relationships are all about, someone else to blame

When a sheriff's deputy in Stafford County, Va., pulled over a woman for speeding she said she didn't have her driver's license, but gave the officer her name, address and date of birth. Deputy Eric Quinn checked the information in his computer and discovered a federal warrant for her. When Quinn told her she was under arrest, "she quickly changed her story," a department spokesman says, and offered her real name and address. The deputy arrested the woman anyway and took her fingerprints to determine her true identity. The second identity was true: Beverly N. Daniels, 27, of Maryland, was charged with identity fraud, driving on a suspended license and obstruction of justice. She had given a friend's name since she didn't want to get into trouble for driving with a suspended license. - I'm quite sure there's a lesson in there somewhere.

1. General Studies 89,805
2. English 86,428
3. Mathematics 67,036
4. Biology 54,814
5. Chemistry 40,856
6. History 38,779
7. Business Studies 38,226
8. Art 37,609
9. Geography 37,112
10. Physics 32,059

All in all a more relaxed kind of weekend, with Ricky Organ, living the lifestyles of the rich and the famous again off to Copenhagen for a business trip. Squirrel, Hopalong and The Chemist refused to move from the comfort of the Chez Didsbury lounge. It left just G Man, aided and abetted by Amanda to fly the flag, with a half hearted effort, just doing a standard Didsbury run of the Dog and Partridge and the Slug and Lettuce.

Saturday saw football watching during the day and in the evening, Hopalong, G Man and Amanda went out for a curry, while Squirrel and The Chemist again refused to leave the house, Ricky Organ returned from Copenhagen, b1tching about his hard life, but there wasn't a great deal of sympathy going around. Quite right too. After the curry Hopalong, G Man and Amanda headed off to the casino (Viva Las Vegas), where after many hours of gambling they emerged a fiver up between them. The next step was to try and negotiate the journey home. Their first thought was to ring the Chemist for a lift, but the fact that they woke him up in doing so, and the number of Stella's he'd had ruled that out. The next suggestion was to try the same trick on Gemma, who much to their surprise agreed, and then stayed at Chez Didsbury.

Sunday saw the usual lounging around watching the box. G Man went to meet mummy and daddy G to watch the football, and the evening saw Hopalong out with Gemma for a few drinks at the Parrswood, and Ricky Organ deserted Chez Didsbury for the week to stay at Jayne's. Monday saw Hopalong at college and G Man at the gym, whereas Tuesday saw G Man out with Amanda in Fallowfield, with stops at Something Blu and Glass, and Hopalong out with Gemma straight from work. Both nights saw very little movement from either Squirrel or the Chemist. Wednesday brought about five a side football again, but Squirrel stayed at home complaining of ill health, and Hopalong was at college. Thursday saw G Man and Hopalong playing five a side football again, and then saw Hopalong going into Didsbury with Gemma for a few drinks.

"Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen." Came the voice over speakers. He looked around for the source of the speaker, at the same time scanning round to see just how many people had disembarked from the plane. He caught screen out of the corner of his eye as the voice continued.

"I would like to thank you all for co-operating so well up to this point, I'd have been most disappointed if I had lost any of you good people before we'd even got acquainted."

He moved through the airport lounge to get nearer to the screen so that he could see the face of the man speaking, and as he did so others followed suit, and pretty soon all of the passengers were near the screen.

The voice continued, "I am sorry to have interrupted your normal lives, but if I had invited you all to come to a get together and told you the reasons why, then I'm pretty sure that the majority of you would have declined, and would have written me off as a crank. As yet I cannot divulge just why you are all here, but let me state with all earnestness, that I wish no harm to a single one of you, as you all have something very important to offer, and I hope to be able to make the best use of your talents. Unfortunately, I am not there to join you, therefore in a matter of minutes there will be another plane arriving to bring all of you to me. My helpers there in Nyuk will be joining you on the final part of your journey, and despite the fact that I need all of you, they are under instructions to prevent you from leaving, and they are all very efficient men. So please take a seat and relax for a few minutes until your next plane is available."

The voice stopped and the screen went blank. Most of the other passengers wandered off in silence to find a seat, but he just stood there still looking at the screen. He was sure that he recognised both the man who was speaking, and what was even more striking was the voice. He was sure that he'd heard that voice a number of times, but as he stood there he couldn't dredge up the information needed to place the details together. Perhaps if he spoke to some of the others they could help. He finally looked away from the screen and turned around, and noticed that talking to the others may be difficult. Everyone else sat and stood around in total silence.

The Chemist (talking about Shakira) - Hasn't she got something serious? Like Cancer.

Blank looks from the rest of Chez Didsbury residents.

The Chemist - It might not have been that serious, it might have been a cold.

The Chemist (while watching a Pink video) - Is that her real name?

The Chemist (while watching a Dannii Minogue video) - Is that Pink again?

Morning (while talking about suitcase weight for her impending holiday) - I know how many kilo's I can take, but what is that in Kilograms?

The Chemist (talking about David Pleat) - He didn't look that old when he was younger.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

A snail can sleep for three years. (so can the chemist!)

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Why in films, When they are alone, do all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other?

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Cumbeard (n).

A white coagulated sperminiferous goatee beard worn by a lady who has helped herself to a double portion of spangle

A man goes up to the minister at the local church. "Reverend," he said, we have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What should I do?" "I've noticed this and have an idea if you're up to the task," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give her a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mr. Jones. "Jesus!" Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp object. "Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!" came the minister's quick reply. Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. And again, the minister noticed. Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones. "My God!" howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin. "Right again!" bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face. Before long, Mrs. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet his wife with the hatpin yet again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" As Mr. Jones enthusiastically poked his wife's thigh with the hatpin piercing her skin she screamed, "You stick that f#cking thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ar5e!" "Amen!" replied all the women in the congregation.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but its missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word," She tells him," Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them." Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend throws her on the table and drills her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs her mom throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother a little happier. But still there is complete silence at the table. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY. I'LL DO THE F#CKING DISHES!!"

Doc - "Hello. How can I help you?"

Man - "I've got an orange willy doc."

Doc - "What??"

Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."

Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up.... It seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?

Man - "Not really"

Doc - "What about stress at work?"

Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"

Doc - "That sounds very stressful"

Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great - half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"

Doc - "Umm... what about your home life?"

Man - "Well, my girlfriend is a complete cow, she nags non-stop and puts me down every chance she gets"

Doc - "That sounds stressful"

Man - "Yeah, but I'm leaving her and I've never been happier."

Doc - "Umm... what about your social life?"

Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."

Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"

Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits"

What's the easiest way to put a giraffe in a fridge? By opening the door and putting it in.

A man walked into a curio store and was shopping around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. "That will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it," said the proprietor. "Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story." He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked, the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, all the rats drowned. He returned to the store shortly. "Ah-ha!" said the proprietor. "You've come back for the story, right?" "Nope," said the man. "You have any brass lawyers?"

President Bush is visiting a school in the U.S. He is in a class room and the teacher asks if anyone has any questions for the President. Billy sticks his hand up. "What's your name" says Mr Bush "I'm Billy" says Billy "Yes Billy" says the President. "I have 3 questions " says Billy. "Go ahead" says the president "1. Why did the U.S.A invade Iraq when it wasn't sanctioned by the United Nations ?" "2. Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes ?" "3. Where is Osama Bin Laden ?" Just then the bell goes for lunch and all the kids rush out to play. After lunch the President says "Where were we, ah yes, question time. Does anyone have any questions ?" Steve puts his hand up. "Go ahead" says the President.

"I have 5 questions " says Steve. "Go ahead" says the President "1. Why did the U.S.A invade Iraq when it wasn't sanctioned by the United Nations ?" "2. Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes ?"

"3. Where is Osama Bin Laden ?" "4. Why did the lunch bell go 20 minutes early ?" "5. Where is Billy"

On a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon, Amanpreet stood on the first tee at his country club. He's just pulled out his driver when Judi, wearing a wedding dress, came running up to him, crying. "You B'STARD!" she screamed in his face. "You lousy, no-good God damned B'STARD!" Amanpreet calmly replied. "Judi, hon, what's the problem. I distinctly told you "only" if it rained . . . "

A state trooper pulls a car over for speeding. In the car is an old lady who is hard of hearing and her husband. When the trooper asks the lady for her driver's license the lady responds, Heh, what did he say?? The old man speaks up as he says, HE NEEDS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE. A few minutes later the trooper comes back to the car and says, Ma'am I see you're from Florida. The old lady comments, Heh, what did he say?? The old man speaks up as he says, HE SEES YOU'RE FROM FLORIDA.' The old lady nods her head, Yup. The trooper mutters, Boy, one time, I got the worst piece of ass I ever had in Florida. The old lady replies, Heh, what did he say?? The old man yells, HE SAYS HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU!?

The middle aged secretary had never been married and had had enough of work, as well as the single life. It was no secret that she was looking to get married. As she came back from her lunch hour with another bag from the drug store, a co-worker said, "In the past 3 weeks you've bought enough birth control pills to last a year, lots of vaginal foam, flavoured douches, several diaphragms and Lord knows how many condoms. And you don't even have a boyfriend. Whom are you trying to seduce?" She smiled slyly and replied, "The pharmacist, silly."

Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag. 1st blonde: "What have you got in that bag?" 2nd blonde: "Chickens." 1st blonde: "If I can guess how many chickens you've got in that bag, can I have one of them?" 2nd blonde: "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this bag, you can have BOTH of them!!" 1st blonde: Well, I think you've got three."

An alien scout ship from the star system Alpha Proxima arrives on earth to search for intelligent life. Not wanting to draw attention to themselves they decide to begin their specimen search at sea. A safe distance from the shores of New Englander they find a promising specimen: a male biped in a rowboat somewhere off the shore of New England. But, to their disappointment, all he can say is, "God Bless America!" Not knowing what do make of this they strap him to their examination table for a series of tests. They knock him out, remove 25% of his brain, and awaken him. "God Bless America!" he shouts defiantly. They knock him out again, remove another 25% of his brain, leaving only 50%, and awaken him. "God Bless America!" he shouts defiantly. They knock him out yet again, remove another 25% of his brain, leaving only 25%, and awaken him. "God Bless America!" he shouts defiantly. Amazed, they knock him out yet again, remove the remainder of his brain, leaving him with none, and awaken him. "God Bless America!" he shouts defiantly. Shock and awe ensues and the alien doctors don't know what to do next, until one of the interns suggests they try methodically removing other parts to see what happens. After some discussion it's agreed that they continue by removing his testicles. "Vive le France!" he shouts defiantly.

Well the votes are in and it's official, it is likely to get messy, as Squirrel is out to get absolutely, positively more pissed than any other muthaf#cker in Manchester over the weekend, which isn't going to be pretty, especially if, as normally happens, he drags someone else down with him. Elsewhere there are various people thinking up various excuses not to go out drinking with Squirrel for their own health and general mental state. Lots of football watching will take place and Ricky Organ has his next instalment of lifestyles of the rich and famous with a trip to the states. See y'all next week.

"Hit the bar", invigorated by their recent draw at the hands of Ashton Athletic ventured over to the arctic wastes of pitch 1 for a difficult first game of the season. Dehulburto LaCortina, a team well known to them, were the opposition, and it seemed like deju vu when they fell behind to an early goal in the first half, and went into the break 2-1 down. In the second-half, defence was the key and our heroes finished with a creditable, if a little unlucky, 4-3 defeat.

Player performances

Owen - Solid performance between the sticks. Unlucky to concede the goals. - 7

The Chemist - Played outside of his normal role, and was well-shackled by the Dehulberto defence. Below his usual high standard. - 6

G-man - Another typical display of gutsy running and tackling. Found it difficult to break down the opposition. - 7

Boots - Confounded his critics with a blinding display of enthusiasm and energy. 9 SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN

Nez - More lollipops than Willy Wonka, must keep his frustration under check. In a mis-placed show of team spirit, contrived to "hit the bar" when scoring seemed a certainty late-on. - 7

Dancing - Too often caught out of position, but held the ball up well and made some good runs. - 6

Ricky Organ - Struggled to get into the game, performance salvaged only by a fine strike in the second half. - 6

Season 2 goal scoring charts. An unusually low scoring game leaves The Chemist, Ricky Organ and Nez with 1 goal apiece.

Set to the north of the city centre of Leicester, but within it’s city limits is Belgrave, now a part of the city, but until the early 20^th century a village in it’s own right.

Originally based to the very north of what is considered to be Belgrave today, between Loughborough Road and the river, the village of Belgrave dates from pre Roman times, when there was a settlement close to the banks of the river.

The Romans settled the village, and the remains of an old Roman road have been found while excavations were taking place near The Talbot Inn, on Thurcaston Road. The bridge over the river, on Thurcaston Road, which is now closed to traffic, is said to date from Roman times, and parts of the structure have been identified as being Roman. Though the main structure of the bridge dates from medieval times, and can not deal with the demands of modern traffic.

The name Belgrave originates from the original ancient name of Merdegrave, which meant the grove in the meadow, or alternatively Martin's Grove. The full name meant something different in French and the Merde was changed to Bel. The new name was first seen in a 1082 charter, which granted the village church to St Ebrulf's abbey at Utica in Normandy. The change being shown as follows: -

"de ecclesiam de Merthegrave, que nunc alio nomine viz bellegrava dicitur"

However more entertaining versions of how Belgrave got it’s name exists. It is said that in ancient times, there was a giant called Bel. One story goes that he terrorised the local inhabitants, by stealing their livestock and destroying their homes. It is said that a local man made a giant slingshot and fired a large rock at the giant, it hit him on the head, and killed him. Where he fell caused a large indentation in the ground (Belgrave lies in a slight hollow), and the land around was now known as Bel’s grave.

The second one has Bel boasting that he could reach Leicester from where he was (about 7 miles to the north) on only three leaps on his horse, and also suggests how three other Leicestershire villages got their names. He mounted his Sorrel mare at the starting point, this became known as Mountsorrel, his first leap took him a long distance to what is now known as Wanlip (yes - one leap). The next leap saw such an effort from both Bel and his mount that they both became injured as they landed they were said to have burst all, and hence the second leap's landing point is now known as Birstall. The final leap saw them miss their goal of Leicester by little less than a mile, and the effort involved saw both the horse and Bel dying on the spot of their landing, and hence this area was known as Bel('s)grave.

The village and it’s lands were granted to Hugh de Grentmesnil by William the Conqueror, just after the Norman conquest, and the domesday book has an entry of 7 ploughlands, a mill, meadowland and woodland belonging to his wife Adelaide. The lands were later given to William de Belgrave (who took his name from the village) by the Earl of Leicester during the reign of Henry II. The village and land remained in the family until the 17^th century, when they moved to Kilworth in the south of the county, and where they still live today.

Through the middle ages the village can be seen to having reasonable growth with there being 42 families living there in 1564, growing to 60 by 1709, and approximately doubling by 1793 when 56 residences were registered for window tax. (At the time a lot of houses would have been built without windows to avoid window tax. It is felt that just under half of all houses had windows.)

The medieval church of St. Peter’s dates from Norman times, and there would have been a Saxon church originally, was extensively rebuilt by Roger de Belgrave, and many artefacts relating to the family can be seen in the church.

In the early 18^th century Belgrave Hall was built by Edmund Craddock, a mayor of Leicester, and his wife, and over the following two hundred years it changed hands four times, with it's residents being prominent people in Leicester. In the late 18th century the land was split and on the land to the west Belgrave House was built. The Hall was bought by Leicester Corporation in 1936 and exists today as a museum run by the council, showing life in the 18^th century. The House was also bought by Leicester Corporation in 1936 to be used as a Library, but this never came about, and it stands as a records office.

The 19^th and 20^th centuries saw a vast expansion of the village in all directions, and its boundaries became blurred as Leicester expanded out to meet it and then engulf it in the early 20^th century. Today the old Belgrave is considered to be out on the boundary of what is considered as Belgrave and it seems that Belgrave’s centre has moved closer to the city centre of Leicester. Belgrave is now the centre of the city’s large Asian community, and has been hemmed in by a number of new estates in the latter half of the 20^th century with Abbey Rise, Rushey Mead, and Northfields to the north, and St Marks, and Leicester City centre to the south.

Here’s this week’s random review

Pop video time. NERD – Lapdance – Best viewed after the watershed as loads of undressed females playing with each other (and themselves).

Rachel Stevens – My LA (ex) – again an eye candy video, though the song is sh1te. Not only that but there is no way that she owns Los Angeles International Airport.

First the answer from last week. The correct answer is that the AK47 is made by Kalashnikov. The winner was a Leanne Yale from St. Ives, Cornwall, who wins an AK47, all she has to do is go and pick it up from Azerbaijan.

For this week’s competition, all I want to know is, Who are the two lead actors in 48 hours and Another 48 hours? Answers to the normal addresses through the normal channels, and the first correct answer drawn out of the Surerandomality hat next Wednesday afternoon, wins the DVD’s of both films.

TOTAL = 23

CUMMILATIVE TOTAL = 712

Saturday arrived with G Man the first to venture into the lounge, to find the puke wilderness it had become. He went back upstairs and asked Squirrel who puked, Squirrel who had little recollection of making it to bed had no idea, so G Man hammered on the bathroom door to wake up Hopalong, who had fell asleep on the toilet, to ask who had puked. The faint answer was Squirrel, which brought about a shout from Squirrel's room of "No it wasn't". Just then Ricky Organ stuck his head out of Hopalong's door and said that it was Hopalong that puked. When Hopalong finally emerged from the bathroom, he slid down the stairs and went back to bed telling everyone they could clear up. G Man, Ricky Organ and Squirrel then went about the unpleasant task of cleaning up the puke, and had to bin the duvet that was doubling as a throw. Once completed they settled down to watch a game, before heading into Didsbury to give in all the details required for their move to Chez Didsbury, it was then on to pick up some boxes for packing stuff before back home for soccer Saturday. It was at this point that the new tenant of Chez Rusholme was arriving. Ricky Organ headed out to stop at a mate's in Salford, so Squirrel and G Man took pity on the newcomer and took Gareth to Squirrel's, seeing as it was fresher's week, so they could check out the new talent (OK talent in Squirrel's is stretching it a bit). Well after a few drinks it could be seen that Gareth didn't have the required drinking temperament, and was as boring as fac, and at the first opportunity G Man sloped off. Squirrel then upped the pace drinking, only to find that Gareth couldn't cope and was going as well. Therefore Squirrel stayed at the bar drinking until wandering off for food and home.

Sunday saw little activity during the day, with football to watch, Ricky Organ popped in to say that during his stay in Salford his car had been nicked, but it had been recovered not far away with minimal damage. Squirrel and G Man nicked snatch off Hopalong, and had another viewing, and then hid the disk to prevent Hopalong from confiscating it. Gareth meanwhile said he'd left the previous night as Squirrel was chatting up some fit blonde bird at the bar. It later turned out that Gareth's eyesight was not to be trusted, as it was Jacqui he was talking to.

Monday saw Squirrel nip to Squirrel's for a quick drink only to get drawn into staying, as there was a comedy night featuring someone from Phoenix nights on as part of fresher's week. After running out of money he was then fed drinks by the gruesome twosome, until leaving just after one, at which stage he wandered home and cooked chilli for himself and Hopalong.

This is after Hopalong had threw his toys out of the pram over the snatch DVD and his pillow that had gotten into the bin, though he wasn't doing so until after G Man had cooked him dinner, this problem was relieved somewhat when Hopalong went to stay at Mary's for a couple of days in the middle of the week, leaving G Man to enjoy the delights of Gareth's company.