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The Weekend Has Landed
Ooh relief at last Bert, I can stop bending over that never ending conveyor belt punching little holes into pieces of metal that no one will ever see, well at least it's a job.
The early finish on a Friday makes it worth doing those 23 hour shifts the rest of the week. I can get off home now, and change out of these overalls, and put on me comfy cardigan and flat cap.
I've got a couple of ten bob notes in my pocket, I'll take the whippet and shuffle off down to the corner shop, get some Woodbines, and a couple of bottles of Gold Label.
My hearing aid needs a new battery if I'm going to be able to hear the telly, though if I leave it, at least I won't be able to hear the missis, no best get one as I'm sure that lovely young Carol Vordeman's going to be on tonight, I can always pretend my hearing aid's not working when the missis starts.
After the shop I'll take the whippet down park and let it run free, with any luck it will bite a couple of the little local bastards, flaming nuisances, and hopefully those lovely young things will be playing netball again. Mmm I wonder how long it'll be this week before they notice me perving.
I suppose after that it'll be off home, and clean out the pigeons, and get the coal out for the week. Send the missis for fish and chips, well she needs to get of the house occasionally, just hope the silly cow remembers to get some scraps this week.
Settle myself down in front of the telly for 7, it's a shame Winner Takes All has finished, there's some right old toss on the telly now, I blame this new fangled channel 4 thing, too many channels, it's diluted all the talent, you don't get quality shows like Robin's Nest or Hazell anymore, it all this soap and nature rubbish, dunno why I pay me license, I mean that's a disgrace £58 for a black and white telly.
Get some ovaltine down me and to bed for 10, well it is a weekend, you can go to bed that bit later, but not too late as I've got a busy weekend down the allotment, gotta get me runner beans tied up.
Anyway, see ya Monday Bert...... Bert? Bert? I wonder what happened to him? Must have slipped off home, I mean he was yawning, must be tired, I dunno these youngsters, not made of the same stuff.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
BEWARE:
The above shows the dangers of eating cheese in the early hours of the morning and then using your PC.
Anyway, The weekend has landed, I've got money in my sky rocket, it's time to go and get absolutely, positively more blasted than every motherf*cker in the pub, put my sunglasses on and dance like the king from planet twat. Destination - Oblivion.
See you all next week.