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Hit the Bar Vs Ashton Athletic
You couldn't buy a ticket for love nor money for this fixture. The return leg of Hit The Bar vs. Ashton was a chance for HTB to exert their dominance over their former nemesis and take six points off them this season. Hit The Bar lined up without Turkish (on loan once again, this time to the USA) but had the double-act of Nez and Owen available which meant the luxury of a sub. As usual, HTB were slower out of the blocks than an arthritic tortoise and soon went 1-0 down. However, some neat play saw them get back into the game but struggle to get ahead thanks to a strong performance from Ashton's keeper. As the game progressed however, HTB soon exposed Ashton's lack of skill and limited tactics and opened up a healthy lead. The trend continued in the second half and it was at this point that things got scrappy. Some Ashton-style, ankle-biting tackling from G-Man appeared to cause some offence and led one of Ashton's number (we'll call him Bob) to attempt to start a fight in the slightly unorthodox, grab-nose-from-behind manner. G-Man, sensing the old git wasn't much of a threat, squared up to face his aggressor, only for Nez to step in, in the peacekeeper role that someone always has to play in these situations. From here, Bob was dismissed by the ref and on came Asthon's bulldog who proceeded to carry on where Bob left off, yet in a slightly more scary 'I will hurt you' manner. Things simmered down a bit at this point but minutes later the bulldog hit the ground in agony following a challenge from Owen, with ligament damage the possible result and with HTB keeping their thoughts to themselves. From here it was a stroll in the park for Hit The Bar, with an easy 15-7 win the result, and any future fixture against Ashton now regarded as an easy 3 points.
Player ratings:
Squirrel - couldn't really be faulted for some of the early Ashton goals and compared to recent games, didn't have much to do. Made a few decent stops but wasn't called upon to do much more, a reasonable game - 7
Owen - back from a loan spell at Sunderland he had a slightly nervy start. Soon settled down and got stuck in with some good blocks. Scored a corker but would have liked a couple more. Was involved in the bulldog's injury but the challenge was legal. Overall a good performance - 7
Ricky Organ - a decent performance and couldn't resist a word or two to Ashton when things turned scrappy. A committed performance with two goals to show for it but his committment to Saturday's all-day training session has been called into question - a no-show could well be reflected in next week's rating - 7
Dancing - also a decent performance with a couple of vital blocks early on. Scored a couple and set some up to. An improvement from last week but can still do better - 7
Nez - after a hard day at the coffee shop he was still full of beans. Gave his team mates a roasting if they messed up but managed to blend his criticism with a healthy dose of skill. Scored an impressive seven goals and is a valuable asset to the team. HTB will be hoping he doesn't decide to leave and open up his own coffeeshop.... Nezcafe. Sorry. Oh anyway, he's SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN - 8
G-Man - a terrier-like performance at times and it was this that the opponents took exception to, even though they do the same. Netted a hat-trick but could have had even more. Some excellent tackling and good passing all added up to a solid performance - 8