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Hit the Bar Vs Parrswood Old Boys
The penultimate game of Hit The Bar's topsy-turvy season was against third-placed Parrswood Old Boys. Despite a string of disastrous performances from HTB, they approached the game with a positive mindset and in reasonably buoyant mood. Owen was absent (he had an appointment with the Home Guard) and Turkish withdrew at the last minute under mysterious circumstances, which left just the usual five and no real defence to speak of. HTB it seems will never learn and as usual gifted the opposition a handsome lead, going behind 4-1, and in at half-time 5-2. Second half, spirited stuff, bla-de-bla-de-de-blah, well-worked goals from HTB etc etc but defensively shocking, increasingly tired (like this reviewer) ya-da-ya-da, frustrated, pretty much gave up, lost 15-9. Season down the toilet.
Player ratings
Squirrel - without some good saves from the big man, HTB would have been made to look even worse. A couple of weaker goals went in but couldn't really be blamed for them as the defence (Owen) was absent - 7
Nez - there's rumours that he slapped in a transfer request after becoming visibly frustrated by the goings-on around him but the club have issued the following statement "we fully expect Nez to be with us at the start of next season and look forward to him lollipopping HTB to numerous victories once more. Rumours that he will be leaving the team or indeed the sport as a whole in order to set up his own coffee emporium are entirely false". A poor game by his standards - 6
Ricky Organ - rumours that he likes to be referred to as 'cock' caused the club to issue the following statement "these rumours are entirely true, the boy is a cock". Appeared to be distracted at first by the absence of beaver-girl on reception but soon settled down and turned in a fine performance, scored a brace including a nice individual goal and showed some all-round good play. Worked hard and earned himself SURERANDOMALITY STARMAN - 7
G-Man - tonight the little terrier's bark was worse than his bite. A lack-lustre performance by his own admission and was responsible for gifting 2 or 3 goals to the opposition. Sparked at times and netted a couple but in general appeared jaded after a long season - 6
Dancing - was guilty at first of going for goal too often when a pass would have been better, but later on the tactic paid off and he netted a couple of well placed goals on the way to his hat-trick. At times tried to fill in for Owen at the back but didn't look altogether comfortable, although two-on-one's didn't help - 7